I gained something.. and i lost u..

grats to myself for getting into cisco.. yeah.. i went to sign on.. and i got thru on my 1st interview.. i was glad.. the pay was even great. after i got my letter of offer, i went to find u and show u my letter.. u smiled back to me and grats me.. and silence went on.. i knew something is going on.. its definately because of the funeral.. third party? or ur jus tired in this r/s.. thou only this short 3 mths plus we are together.. but we went thru things tat will keep me memories for life..today is the second day we broke off.. life was still as usual sucks.. but is a blessed tat i got in this job as i can concentrate on my own things without having to withstand the suffering period.. i din know how to explain my feelings now.. my life's totally upside down.. imagine i've done stupid thing.. i went to ur friendster and delete all our pics and put u in Single status.. and i regret and upload again our pics.. and put In A Relationship status back again.. i was devasted.. i din know how and what to react.. yeah, i was stupid.. i hope all these will changed into hatred so i wont be tat suffering.. when i saw u.. i wanted to concern u and asked u how are u feeling.. but i became speechless the moment i saw u.. cause ur face is always tat stressing.. i know i've done stupid things but tat is because i put in too much in a short period of time.. now.. why guys are always like tat.. when they wana go after u.. u felt that u are the world's most happy person.. why wana give happy moments when u cant sustain that kinda moment forever.. can we be forever that sweet? the answer is no..

i gave myself.. 100% to tat u might call back.. on the 1st day
today.. i lost myself 50%...
i hope i can decrease this day by day.. till the day i din have anymore hope in it.. i believe it will be gone soon.. i'm trying.. hard..