NOw.. I've have plenty of time to blog.. Humans are cheap.. So am i.. Lol... Blog only when I'm feeling down.. Again I'm feeling contradicting .. feeling so wierd .. I felt I lost something ... remind myself its part and parcel in life.. I Rmb always saying in this world.. No one can't do without someone .. The words again are easy .. But filled with lotsa hurts and pain.. How to love.. How to change.. How to trust.. if got tis course I'll attend for sure.. I asked my colleague how they maintain their married life.. give and take is the answer they gave.. Give and take is so general.. I Duno where to start.. I know only treat pple the same like they treat u.. Now the feeling of lost is so high tat I've got no Mood for everything .. I asked myself.. If I really love den go for it.. But same time I'm thinking .. If we patched back.. The root of problem is not solved..and we are together back becoz I'm physically and mentally dependent on him.. and the problem is again.. How to love , how to change and how to trust... I'm mad at myself .. Becoz I Duno what to know .. I need time .. Meanwhile ... The problem kept on coming out..

I Duno since when I start to have thoughts in my mind when we quarrel .. I always think that he doesn't felt contented to have me .. And look for others... This is so major issue to me..and I know maybe he can easily forget things.. And tats his good point.. Becoz he already started knowing pple.. I wanted delete my friendster acc and facebook.. I dowan pple around .. not till when I'm feeling better ... I dowan to find myself changing the attached ,single again and again and bluffing myself.. And just kept on reminding myself to get to the fact that certain things are gone and we can't live with it.. I really really need time to recoup .. Omg .. This is crazy.. I simply hate this type of feelin.. I'm not Alrite .. I Duno.. Maybe I blog again when i felt the Pain pain feeling .. Chill villies ..