updated post yday night.. but duno why server was unable to save and upload..

First day..

sigh.. woke up a few times in the night to see my hp has any sms not.. but no..
hrmz.. our longest quarrel ever.. knew everything was shattered the moment i say that sentence... guessed he must haf been telling his friends ard out how bad i was to say him till this extend.. to make this r/s end thru.. i gotta be bad 1st.. this r/s was so draggy.. we din know what we want.. thou both our parents knew we will be engaged .. but din know when.. sigh.. i'm so tired.. but to act on a brave front infront of everyone.. i cant be like last time.. i need this job .. i need the pay.. i need to pay for my hse utilities.. but i misses the day we are together.. how i wished i can dont work when i woke up and jus lay back @ home doing nothing and have more time with him.. i'm working on 12 hrs basic.. what i lack is... security.. no.. not that.. i got no confidence in myself.. i scare these and that.. end up i'm gettin nowhere.. its okie.. i've learned.. i've learned that.. i'm really not suitable to be a r/s .. being single isnt bad.. but... ??

to work.. =)